Almost Real
by addicted2clana
Summary: Edward and Bella fight after the baby breaks more of her ribs. Something happens to Edward after he storms out of the room. Read and see what. Set during Breaking Dawn part 1. Slightly OOC and character death. Edward POV


I stormed from the room in a fury. The thing that Bella carried in her womb had broken another rib and she looked like a skeleton as she was so emaciated that it was like she had a very thin layer of skin pulled tight over her bones. The Demon was leeching the life out of her; it killed her slowly every single day. Carlisle had spelled it out for her in plain unvarnished English: the fetus would take her life before we could change her. But even with my begging and pleading, Bella would choose the monster inside her over our future together. We had plans and because of my stupidity of having unprotected sex on our wedding night we would never see them come to fruition. As much as I wanted to see Bella grow round while carrying my child I knew that was an impossibility since I was a vampire and our kind did not reproduce. Or so we had always been told. But here we were; the grotesque vile creature murdering her every single day. No, it was faster than that. Every second, my wife, my existence, was hurtling headlong to her doom and there was not a damn thing I could do to stop it.

Bella refused to let us remove it from her as she did not agree with abortion. I did not agree with it either but in this instance I felt it was warranted. But it was a moot point as she refused termination of said fetus. I told her I would find her a suitable donor so she could have a baby. I even went so far as to ask that foul mutt to give her his seed for her to have a baby. She laughed at me over that one. I have to admit that that was a crazy idea if I had ever had one. I told her I would change her now but Bella wanted this baby because it was my baby and this might be the only chance for us to ever have a child. She did not want artificial insemination she only wanted one child: my child, this child. It was a useless conversation.

I should not have stormed off. I should be supportive of her. But I could not. I could not idly stand by as something took my Bella away from me. I could understand rogue vampires, reckless teenage drivers, overgrown mongrel pups and even the Volturi but her willingly giving birth to my demon seed made no sense to me. Alice could not see it. Jasper could not feel any emotions from it. I could not get a read on it. Carlisle could not properly measure it as it was cocooned in some kind of vampire casing. My apprehension was at an all time high. This thing was an unknown. I did not like that, not one bit. I should be with her not alienating her. Her only means of support was from Rosalie, the one person who was the coldest to her of all of us was offering her unending support. I knew why; this was what Rosalie had always wanted. Bella never gave any inclination that she had remotely considered motherhood. But once she became pregnant with my child, Bella became hell bent on having this one. No matter the consequences, no matter her sacrifice, she would have this baby.

If I were human I would be there by her side and supporting her every step of the way. We would see our precious baby on the ultrasound and delight in its growth. Bella and I would pick out names and think about sitting up the nursery as we chose the theme. I would lavious unending love and support. I would shower her with praise and adoration. She would be waited on hand and foot. Bella would want for nothing. We would tell her parents and they would be able to see their grandchild. But alas, Bella carried the spawn of Satan himself. Those things were mere dreams, fantasies if you will. I was very much a vampire who could no more turn human then the inhuman thing she was carrying. I flopped down on the floor outside of the room where Bella still lay upon the examining table. I heard her as she cried softly. I had hurt her with my ire about what she was doing. I said I would never do that again after what I did when I left her but here I was doing the same damn thing over again. I was truly a monster. I threw my head against the wall and closed my eyes. What I would not give to change for her. She was so willing to do so for me. Why could I not do this one thing for her? Why could I not be human for her? I squeezed my eyes shut and did something that I had not in many years; I prayed.

"God, I do not deserve for you to hear my plea but I am a desperate man. I know I am a demon and a soulless monster but with my loving angel, Bella, I do believe I could once again have my soul. She makes me a better man with every breath she takes. But, Lord, Bella is forfeiting her life to have my child and I cannot have that. I have to save her and I need your help. She will die because she wants to give me a son or daughter. I will lose her and lose myself all over again. Can you not answer my prayer and let her live? Let her make it through this pregnancy or if you think it would be better to maybe take the vile monster she is carrying. I just want her to live. It would be too much to ask for you to make me human as I know that will never happen. But if I were a real man, we could have this baby. We could raise our baby together and maybe even have more. We could grow old together, watch our baby grow and go off to college. Maybe they would even get married and have children of their own. But it will never happen. I am a vampire, she is human and carrying a demon inside of her. Just, please, hear my prayer. Save her, just save her. Please, God, save my reason for being," I cried. I sobbed unshed tears and placed my head in my hands and wailed on and on.

It seems that I had been sobbing for hours and was actually surprised no one had checked on me. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and looked up at a smiling Bella.

"Hey, I've been looking for you. You ready to go see how the baby is doing," Bella asked.

I rubbed my face and noticed it felt prickly. I did not grow any facial hair. What was going on? And why did she think we could see that thing? We never had before. Beside, we had just tried.

"Bella, you know we just tried an ultrasound. You know it will not work," I said.

"Wow! You must've really been asleep. Have you been waiting for me a long time? You know how Alice is. She said I needed the perfect outfit when I found out what I was having."

"Bella, you know we cannot."

"You mean I know that you don't want to know. But come on. It would be so much easier for us to set up the nursery when we know what the baby is going to be, don't you think?"

"Love, Carlisle has already tried to get through the cocoon that is encasing it. You know as well as I do he cannot get a good reading on it."

"Edward, are you ok? We have an album of pictures of our little angel. What's wrong?"

I was growing concerned that she kept insisting that we had already seen the child and I knew that we could not. I looked at her closely. Bella was no longer skeleton thin, in fact she looked healthy and she practically glowed from motherhood. But that still did not explain her irrational thoughts.

"No, no we do not. You know we cannot see anything from it."

"This is our baby that you're not even really acknowledging. This is our miracle."

"It is not a miracle, it is a death sentence for you. I sentenced you to death!"

"Why are you yelling at me? And what are you talking about? I'm not going to die!"

"Yes you are! That thing is going to kill you," I yelled as I gasped for air and my heart pounded violently in my chest as I was about to hyperventilate. Wait! What?

"Now you listen to me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, this baby is not a thing. They are . . ." but I cut her off.

"Hang on! Why do I have a heartbeat? Why am I gasping for air and why am I hyperventilating? What the hell is going on?" I babbled.

"Edward, what are you talking about? That's normal. You asking stupid questions like that and acting like an ass is not. You were fine earlier today. What's gotten into you? Have you been on the reservation smoking the peace pipe again with Jake and the boys?"

"You know I am not allowed down there nor would I associate with those pack of mutts!"

"Edward, that is not very nice. You know Jake and the other Quilettes are our friends."

"No, I do not think so. No, this cannot be true. This cannot be happening."

"What can't, Edward? What're you talking about?"

"Bella, werewolves are mortal enemies of vampires or have you forgotten that?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Vampires, werewolves? What've you been drinking?"

"You are in a house full of vampires. You should know what I am talking about!"

"Edward, may I ask why you are yelling at my daughter?" Carlisle asked as he entered the hallway.

"Carlisle, tell her. Tell her that I am not crazy. Tell her that she is carrying my demon seed and that this vampire baby is killing her. Tell her!" I yelled.

"Are you feeling well, son? What are you talking about?"

"Carlisle, you turned me in 1918 after my mother and father died of Spanish influenza."

"Your parents died in a car crash when you were four years old. I could not bear the thought of you having no family so Esme and I adopted you since we could not have any children of our own."

"That is not true. That is a lie. You sired me, then Esme, Rosalie and finally Emmett. Alice and Jasper joined us later when she saw them with us. You know this. Why won't you tell her? Why won't you believe me?" I wailed as I fell back to the floor and held my head in frustration.

"I think our son has been working too hard, Carlisle. Bella, honey, let's get you off the floor and on the exam table. Alice and Rose will be by later with the guys for dinner. Carlisle can help Edward. I think he's tired dear," Esme said as she helped Bella up.

"Edward, let me look at you. Well, you're breathing fine and your pulse is good. I think your Mom is right, you're worn out from your shifts at the hospital. Maybe you need a vacation, son. Let me help you up. Looks to me like you got off of work and passed out here in the hall waiting for Bella. Sound about right? Probably having some sleep deprived nightmare or something induced by stress from overwork and worrying about the baby. The baby is fine, trust me. Come on, let's go see my grandchild," Carlisle said as he patted me on the shoulder.

Over worked? Sleep deprived? I worked at the hospital? Alice and Rose coming over for dinner? Seeing the baby? Parents died in a car crash? Friends with the Quilettes? What the hell is going on? I took in a deep breath and let it out. I did it again to see that it was really happening. Then I heard my heart beating. _Thump, thump! Thump, thump!_ I most assuredly had a heartbeat and I was really breathing. I felt stiff like I had been in the same position for hours and I felt like I could sleep for hours as well. What was this? Was I dead? Was I somehow dreaming? Was I having a psychotic break? Was this my punishment for yelling at Bella earlier? I would get no answers standing in the hall. I opened the door to find Bella on the table with her shirt up and Carlisle getting the machine ready.

"Are you better, Edward?" Bella asked.

"Yes, love, I suppose I am. Thanks for asking," I replied.

"Well, let's get you gooed up so we can see this little miracle," Carlisle said as he placed the ultrasound gel on her rounded stomach. It seemed odd that she no longer reacted to any of our cold touch but then I remembered that we no longer felt cold. This whole thing seemed very strange. Carlisle directed us to the screen and there it was; our baby. It's heart beating loudly. Our baby was real.

"Oh, Edward, look how big the baby is. Isn't it beautiful? Honey, don't cry," Bella said as she wiped a tear that was trickling down my face. I was crying?

"I am fine. Just emotional seeing our child for the . . . I mean it is just . . . a . . . I mean . . a miracle," I stammered.

"Yes, it's our little miracle. So, can you tell us what we're having, Carlisle? You do want to know don't you, Edward?"

"Yes, yes of course love. Let us see what we are having."

"Ok guys. Let's see if we can get this little bundle to cooperate."

Carlisle passed the wand over her stomach and the image changed and you could see the legs, fingers, nose, ears and it seemed to flip around and play with its ears and just wiggled all around and then it happened. The child spread its legs and that was when we could see that we were having a girl. I was having a daughter.

"Congratulations, you're having a girl."

"A girl? Oh, Edward! A daughter? Are you happy?"

"Extremely. I do not know when I have been so happy," I said as I leaned in to kiss her lips which were just as warm and soft as mine were now. It felt wonderful to be the same temperature and know that I could no longer hurt her. My heart fluttered in my chest at this joyous thought. I could get lost in her eyes. I must have because Carlisle was clearing his throat.

"I am sorry. I must have zoned out. You were saying something," I enquired.

"What I was trying to say is it appears that there is another baby in there," he said with a smile.

"A what," Bella and I asked together.

"A second baby. Would you like to know the sex of baby number two?"

We both nodded.

Carlisle stifled a laugh as he moved the wand around and then the second baby spread their legs and there was my son. I had a son! I had two babies! How did I get so lucky?

"It's a boy. Congratulations! I'll let you two look at your kids and I'll go tell your mother the good news," Carlisle said as he got up from the chair. "You know how to clean your wife up, print off pictures and take out the video tape, right?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you Dad."

"You are more than welcome."

"Edward, twins? Oh my goodness! This so amazing. Are you sure you are ok? You had me worried. Maybe your Dad is right. You need a break from work. It's like you are always there. Do you really need that promotion?" Bella asked.

I did not know what she was talking about. I had money. I could not understand why I would need a promotion. I had no idea how long I would be here. I would have to check in to a lot of things. I would see if I could take some time off with her. Knowing that she was carrying not one but two babies I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.

"You are probably right. I will see if I can get some time off for a bit. I know I have been working too much at the hospital and I need to spend time with you and the babies. I do so love you, Bella. Thank you for this extraordinary gift," I said as I leaned in to kiss her waiting lips.

Once our lips touched I felt her heart speed up. No longer could I hear it pounding like before. I heard one but it was my own heart beating in a crazy rhythm. I used to laugh at her for getting carried away but I was just as bad in my human state. Before I could easily keep myself so guarded but now, now I was as vulnerable as she was. I wanted to pull her close and feel our hearts and breathing together in perfect harmony but she was covered in ultrasound gel lying on an exam table. I pulled back from her and smiled. I placed my forehead to hers and breathed in her heavenly aroma. I could not smell her always tempting blood nor could I smell her arousal. The usual freesia and strawberry scent she always emitted was heavily muted but there none the less. It was not screaming at me. I missed her tantalizing smell but not enough to care at the moment.

"As much as I would love to continue, I think I should clean you up and help you down. Besides we have pictures and videos to show the others. But do not think that we will not indulge later. That I can promise you," I whispered.

"Uh, don't you have a shift later?" She asked.

"Let me see what I can work out, ok?"

"Ok."

I grabbed some tissues and wiped her clean. I pulled her shirt down and helped her off the table. She smiled at me and walked in front of me out of the room. It amazed me how as I walked I could not hear the thoughts of anyone. Not Carlisle, Esme or anyone else in a few mile radius. I could not see every dust particle as it floated around me. I could smell food cooking down stairs and it was not revolting. On the contrary, it was making my mouth water. No longer was the burn in the back of my throat. I felt thirsty but it was more that I would like some water or maybe even some coffee. It was odd that I would be, I suppose, craving coffee. I walked passed the windows and the sun was shining in the room and I stuck my arm out to let the rays hit it. It felt amazing as it warmed my skin and I marveled at the fact that I was not sending off millions of diamond sparkles all around the room. It was strangely calming. I appeared to be nothing more than your average male. I was human.

Obviously I was not watching where I was going as I stared at my arm because I ran into a waist high table at the end of the hall and it hit me right on my left hip as I had turned slightly.

"SON OF A B . . ." I started to yell rather loudly in pain but was cut off by Esme from the ground floor.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN! Do not finish that sentence. I don't care that you are almost 25 years old, I will wash your mouth out with soap, young man. You've been hanging around Emmett way too much. You're a respected doctor, for goodness sakes," Esme yelled back.

"Sorry, Mom." Almost 25? Really? This was all very strange. I was going to have to google myself and see what type of doctor I was, did I work at Fork's hospital or further away? Did we live here with Carlisle and Esme or did we have the cottage like we did back in my time? What day was it? How far along was Bella? Where were the others living and what were they doing? So many questions and who knew how much time I actually had here. Maybe I could just enjoy my time here and relax.

"I hope you two are hungry. The others will be here in a few minutes and then we can eat. Maybe even come up with some ideas for names. I'm going to get tired of calling them 'the babies' all the time," Esme snickered as she walked back to the kitchen.

Bella was seated on the couch with her legs propped up on some pillows. She looked comfy. I walked and sat on the floor beside of her and took her soft warm hand in mine. I could absolutely get used to this being-the-same-temperature thing.

"How are you feeling, Edward? I mean it. You really scared me. I'm worried you are pushing yourself too hard. Promise me you will talk to your boss about getting some time off," Bella begged.

"Love, I promise. I will go and call him now. I will just be a minute," I said as I got up from the floor and walked out on the porch for some privacy. I googled myself and found that I did indeed work at the hospital in Forks. It was December as Bella had to be 18 to 20 weeks along for her to be able to find out the sex of the baby, or babies now. I also learned that Alice was a fashion designer, Rosalie was a stay at home mom of two twin boys and a daughter, Emmett a fireman and Jasper worked for the Forks Police department with Charlie as a forensic pathologist. They lived in town as well close by so that we could all be near one another. Bella and I did live in our little cottage just a few miles behind the main house. From what I could gather Bella and I had in fact gotten pregnant on our honeymoon. It appeared that we had waited til last year to get married even though we had been dating since freshman year of high school. I wondered how she felt about being pregnant so soon after we married. I had also learned that my superior was Dr Sebastian Chester and he was the new chief of staff. Carlisle still worked there as well but I was one of the pediatric doctors on staff. I hoped he would understand that I needed to be off with my wife and our own children. I dialed his number that I found in my phone.

"Dr Chester," he said.

"Hello, sir, this is Doctor Edward Cullen," I answered.

"Dr Cullen, how are you doing? How's your wife and the baby?"

"Bella is doing well and the babies are fine."

"Babies? Did you say babies?"

"Yes. We just found out today that she is carrying twins."

"Well, congratulations. That is wonderful news."

"Thank you, sir. I was calling because my family is worried that I am working a little too hard and I sort of had a moment this morning where I was slightest bit psychotic. I said some things that made no sense at all. I think I completely stressed me wife out and to say the least my father was not too happy about that. I would appreciate a little time to recoup."

"Edward, you can take all the time that you need. You have been working lots of overtime and I dare to say you are here more than you are at home. So take all the time you need. You deserve it. And that promotion you have been working so hard for is yours. There was never a question. You were always our choice. That means no late nights or weekends, only the day shift. This is what you've worked so hard for. Congratulations. You are now head of the pediatric department."

"Sir, I am eternally grateful. Thank you."

"No, thank you, Edward. Take care of your wife and babies."

"I will. I will talk with you soon."

"I'll send you over the paperwork and you can do some things from home. I'll email it to you."

"I will be looking for it."

I heard him hang up and I breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever I had been doing I had managed to get promoted to head of peds and been able to take some much needed time off. Bella would be pleased. I was about to go back in when I was grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground. The assailant started squeezing me and I could not breath. Emmett was giving me one of his famous bear hugs.

"Put me down you goon." I yelled.

"Emmett, put him down," Rosalie said as she carried one bundle and was followed by two small boys who were carbon copies of Emmett.

"Unkie Edwad! Unkie Edwad," the boys screamed as they barreled into my legs.

"Boys," I said as I picked them up for a better look at them.

"Eddie, Jay, what did Mommy tell you about barreling into people like that?"

"Not too," they said in unision.

"It is okay, Rose. I suppose I need to get used to this. Besides, I am always happy to see these two and the little princess."

"Well, thanks to your advise, Alella is doing much better and sleeping through the night."

"Think nothing of it. Hey, you two want to go see your grandma?"

"Yea," they yelled as they jumped out of my arms. I laughed as they were so quick I could not possibly think of keeping up with them as a human.

"They are fast."

"Yes, Em is extremely pleased. He seems to think they are going to be great football players. I don't even want to think about that yet, what with all the injuries and all. So, how's Bella and the baby?"

"She is fine and you will have to wait to learn about the baby as Bella will have my head if I tell the news without her. Is Alice coming?"

"She should be right behind me. There she is now," Rosalie said as she pointed behind her as she walked in the house.

Alice and Jasper arrived in a black Ford F150. It was a good five feet off the ground with huge monster tires. It looked exactly like something Jasper would have but I would not expect to see Alice anywhere near it. I laughed as she slid out of her side and on to the ground before Jasper could help her. She saw me and smiled.

"What's up, big brother," Alice asked as she hugged me.

I hugged her and lifted her off the ground. She had always been my favorite sibling and I hers. I was so very happy to see her. I let her down and looked at her.

"It is good to see you, Alice. I am doing well. How are you and Jasper doing?"

"We're doing good. Right Jazz?"

"Yes we are. Are you going to tell him or do you want me to," he asked her.

"You tell him."

"Well, thanks to you there will soon be three of us."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God! Does Mom and Dad know?"

"Yep, I wanted to tell you in person. In fact, you're the last one to know. Sorry, but you've just been way too busy at the hospital. You need a break, Edward."

"And I am about to take one, Alice. Well congratulations! I am so excited for you both."

"Like I said it is all thanks to your advice, just like Rosalie and Emmett. You, Edward, are a wonderful doctor. Thanks, man," Jasper said as he hugged me close.

"I am more than happy to do anything I can to help. That is why I went into medicine."

"And it had nothing to do with Dad sort of coaxing you into it with the promise of the latest Volvo," Alice snickered.

"No, it did not. I truly wanted to get into medicine and make a difference in the world."

"Nah, you're a suck up," Jasper laughed as he walked in the house and pulled a giggling Alice with him.

I shook my head at my siblings and looked down at my scrubs. I wondered if I had some clothes upstairs in my old room. I needed to ask Esme.

"Mom?" I asked as I got in the living room.

"Yes, Edward," she answered.

"Do you know if I have any clothes in my old room?"

"I think you do. Just leave your scrubs in the laundry room and will have them laundered with your fathers. Hurry up so you can help me get dinner on the table."

"Thank you. Bella, do you need anything while I am upstairs?"

"Just you to come back to me," Bella said as she held our niece.

I walked up the stairs, into my old room and found a pair of jeans and a white button up. I grabbed my scrubs and carried them back to the laundry room. Everyone was gathered in the living room, including my father. They played with the kids and laughed as they all entertained them. I walked in the kitchen as my Mom was pulling plates from the cabinet.

"Can you finish setting the table for me?"

"Sure. All I need to do is put the plates out?"

"Yes, everything else is done. I would appreciate it if you carried the manicotti out on the table once you are done."

I walked back out to the dining room and placed the plates on the matts. Once that was accomplished I returned to the kitchen and retrieved the manicotti from the oven. Mom carried the salad in along with the basket of bread. When this was done we went back to the kitchen.

"Do I need to get the drinks out?"

"No I figured I would let everyone get their own drinks. I'll wait for dessert for after. Go call them in to eat, please."

"Yes mam."

I walked in the living room and walked over to my wife. I sat down beside her and Bella looked at me as she held Alella. She was a natural mother. I smiled at her as she glowed with happiness while she looked at me. I touched her face and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"Is dinner ready," she asked.

"Huh? Oh, yes. That is why I came out here; to tell everyone that dinner was ready. Shall I help you up?"

"First let me give the baby back to Rose. Then you can help me up."

Rose got up to take the baby from Bella and I took her by the hand and led her into the dining room. I took her to her usual spot around the large table, pulled the chair out and then sat beside of her. The others filed in. Emmett put both boys in their high chairs and Rose sat in the chair while holding the baby. I remembered that I needed to get our drinks.

"Bella, what would you like to drink, love," I asked.

"Skim milk please," Bella answered.

I got up and got down two glasses and poured us each a glass of skim milk and carried it back to the dining room. I placed the glass on the table.

"Thanks, baby."

I smiled at her term of endearment. Everyone was now seated at the table and with Carlisle at the head he took Esme's and my hand and then I noticed that Esme took Alice's and she the next and so on and so forth until we were all holding hands. Carlisle bowed his head and began to pray.

"Dear, Lord, thank you for this meal and for Esme's hands for making it. Lord, this family is blessed beyond measure and to you we give the glory for all that we have now and that we will have in the future. Thank you for blessing us with health, good jobs and our family. You are making it grow by leaps and bounds and we are extremely grateful. In Jesus name we pray, Amen," Carlisle concluded.

"Ok, everyone, let's eat," Esme said as she began to pass around the salad and the bread. I very carefully handed the pan of pasta. It all looked so good and smelled even better. I waited till everyone had food on their plate and then I took a fork full of pasta, blew on it and placed it in my mouth. OH MY! This was heaven right here in my mouth. This melty cheesy goodness was absolutely amazing. I knew I had never in my existence tasted anything so amazing. I might have moaned a little.

"You know, Ed, I'd almost think you've been doing without sex the way your moaning over that pasta. What you ain't ate in a long time or something," Emmett asked playfully.

Rosalie smacked him in the head with her free hand. He dropped his fork and rub his head. I snickered.

"What was that for, Rosy?"

"Do you see these little boys sitting here? They hear everything you say and then go out and repeat it. And you know he hates to be called anything but Edward," Rosalie chided.

I nodded a 'thanks' in her direction. "Uh, I would say it has been a long time since I have eaten."

"You've been awful busy at the hospital, Edward. Have you heard any word on that promotion yet," Alice asked.

"I might have."

Bell looked at me with a smile. "Well spill, Edward."

"I got it."

The room went into cheers and 'congratulations' all around. Bella got up and hugged me. "I'm so proud of you. Did you get the other thing we talked about?"

"I did. I have some much needed time off to spend with you and . . . ,"

"And what? When are you going to tell us about the baby? What are we having?" Rosalie asked.

"We are having a boy and a girl," Bella said with a smile as she took my hand.

I thought they were loud with my announcement. It paled in comparison to the hooping and hollering they did with that little bit of information. Everyone got up and hugged, clapped our backs and told us how much they loved us. When we were all seated I leaned over and kissed Bella's cheek and went back to my food. Alice and Rosalie looked at me with a smile.

"So, do we get to see any pictures of them?" Alice asked.

"Sure you can. After I finish eating of course. We have pictures and video of them."

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Rosalie added.

"Well, I think I'd really like to carry on the tradition of naming him Edward. I'm leaning towards Edward Anthony Masen the second after Edward and his father and simply calling him Anthony or Tony. As for the girl we are throwing around Renesmee Carlie after the parents or maybe have Elizabeth in some way. We have time to figure this out."

"Those are beautiful names dear," Esme replied.

"I really have to say that those are really good names. I'm really impressed," Alice added.

"Thank you but Bella gets all the credit. Although I guess if I was not called Edward Anthony Masen we would not have a boys name," I laughed.

That got a hardy laugh out of all of them. We finished our meal with pleasant conversation. Before long everyone said how it was getting late and they had to get home. I nor Bella had to work tomorrow but I was looking forward to spending some time alone with her. Just the thought of being with her alone was beginning to really excite me. I could feel my heart racing and perspiration was prickling on the back of my neck. I wanted to grab her hand and pull her out the door, start the car and take her home to ravish her all night long. But I had to wait. I had to calm myself down. Emmett in a tutu. Jasper in a tutu. Jake in a tutu. I was good. Bella caught me staring at her. I smiled and looked at my feet. She slowly made her way over to me and put her hand in mine. She looked up at me through her long lashes.

"Are you ready to go, honey," she asked.

"Like you would not believe," I smiled.

"Thanks for dinner, Esme. I'll be by tomorrow."

"Take your time Bella. It's rare for you all to have this time together," Esme said.

"Goodnight you two," Carlisle added.

"Goodnight, Mom and Dad," I said as I led my wife to our car. I opened the door and helped her in. I walked around to the other side and got in.

"You seem to be in a hurry there, Edward. Anxious to get home?" She giggled.

"You would not believe how bad I want to get you home. It feels like I have been waiting forever to have you alone. Do you understand what I am saying?" I asked.

"I think I might. I'm going to ask you to do something I never do; drive fast, Edward."

"Your wish is my command," I said as a slammed on the gas.

My tires spun out in the gravel as I fishtailed and then sped off into the night. I would apologize to my parents later but right now I needed to get my wife home. The car would not get me there fast enough to suit me. I was about to be alone with my human wife while I too was human. It was something that I had secretly wished and longed for. Tonight would be the night for that fantasy to become a reality. I pulled the car into the garage and slid around to open her door. She smiled up at me as I took her hand and led her into the house. I made it to the living room before I pulled her to me for a passionate kiss. As we kissed as we removed each others clothing. Once we were naked I kneeled down and placed my hands on each side of her swollen abdomen and there was my life right in her womb right between my fingers. The three people who meant more to me than my own existence. I kissed her right at her belly button. Bella ran her hands through my hair. She gently let the strands run through her fingers. When I leaned in and kissed her extended belly I felt each one of my children as they reached out and touched my face. I looked up at her as tears flowed down my face. What a beautiful miracle she was protecting. She was my angel.

As I stood up I ran my hands up her thighs, up her side, across her shoulders and into her hair. I caressed her face and pulled her lips to mine. I crushed her body against me. I now yielded to her soft skin. No longer was I rigid and unmoving, I now moulded to her completely. I thought we had fit well together before with me as a vampire and her as a human. I was crazy before. Now was total and complete beauty. The way we meddled into one another was amazing. I have never felt such joy and bliss. I planned to thoroughly and properly ravish her. I no longer had to be careful. I could hold her close, kiss her hard and make love to her completely. She might have been pregnant but I was human and this I could do and not have to worry about bruising her. I did not have to think about breaking her bones or be concerned with her blood sending me into an unwanted frenzy. Only the woman called to me, not her blood. I could do this and do so happily.

I wanted to remember every part of this experience; every sigh, every moan, every caress, every thrust, every kiss, every single thing. If I still had my vampire mind I could assuredly remember every minute detail. Maybe I could be like Sherlock and develop a mind palace and store things like he did. The way she touched me and pulled my body to her. The way my name fell off her lips as she crashed into me. The things she did to my human body. I felt that before when we were together that everything was perfect. It was but this was some much better. I had never been able to fully give myself to her. I was always holding back, always afraid of hurting her. Always afraid of killing her. But now, now there was no fear. Nothing holding me back from giving myself to her, all of myself to only her.

I carried her through the house and into our bedroom. The large king size bed with the stark white duvet loomed before us and I placed her in the middle of the bed, Not as gentle as normal, in fact she bounced when I dropped her. She has a shocked look on her face but looked sexy as hell. She had that pregnancy glow but she still oozed seductress. I wanted that lioness to come out to take her lion. I crawled up her body and laid down on top of her. I aligned my body up with hers and started to slowly and teasingly bringing her ever closer to the edge. I wanted to keep her teetering so near her release and then bring her back to Earth. I ran my hands all over her body and trailed my lips every where my hands touched her. I kissed up her neck and concentrated on her pulse point that no longer called to me. I sucked on it. I lapped at it and nibbled on it. This turned me on almost as much as it was her. She moaned my name and pulled me closer to her. I could feel her warmth radiating from her womanhood. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. I could not hold off much longer. The thing that sent me over the edge was when she bit at the junction between my neck and my shoulder blade. Playtime was over. Isabella was mine.

I went from gentle to animal in no time at all. I wanted to ravish her and by God I did. It went on and on for hours. I pulled her to me and she pulled me to her. It was a back and forth sensual dance that pulled us over and under. Love making with Bella had always been a wonderfully fulfilling experience but this, making love when we were both equals, was a whole new ball game. I had never loved her touch more, her breath on my skin, her fingers as they pulled my hair, her nails as the scratched down my back, every little nuance was a deeply religious experience. Who knew that us being the same would make this so much better? I almost had to wonder if Bella was a vampire would it be this way. I had to think so. If there was no difference between us I would not have to worry about hurting her. My God how amazing this all felt! I wanted it to last all night and into the next day. Oh hell! Who was ai kidding, I wanted it to go on forever. Right here is when being a vampire would be a plus to me. I cannot believe I just thought that. Why was I thinking at all? I need to focus on her and what we were doing. It was not as easy to compartmentalize on so many things now that I was not a vampire.

At that moment Bella arched up and pulled me to her. She was slipping over the edge and I was right there with her. I just needed one little thing and when she raised up by pulling herself to me and licked from my neck to my chin and growled out my name I lost it. I was over that edge and barreling down the hill and back up the other side all while Bella moaned along with me. It was a thing of beauty to behold. We both panted breathlessly as we came down from our high. I swallowed roughly and Bella giggled.

"What was that for my love," I asked.

"Well, Edward, don't get me wrong, I love when we usually make love. I mean really. But tonight you were a wild man. I've never seen you be so primal. It turned me on big time," Bella purred.

"Really? I do not think I changed anything at all."

"Are you sure? I mean you were just crazy. Like you didn't hold back one single bit. Almost like you didn't have to think. It was like you just felt and went."

"I guess I did. I just did what I thought you would like. I only want to please you. I live to please you. You know that, Bella. You and these babies that you carry are my life. There is nothing else that I want or ever could want. You complete every single part of me. I love you, Bella, wholey and completely," I said with a yawn as I pulled her to me.

Bella rolled over and looked at me with a smirk. "Well this is a first."

"What?"

"You about to roll over and fall asleep."

"What do you mean?"

"Normally you are like the energizer bunny. But you seem more like the sleepy little puppy."

"Bella, I can be the 'bunny' if you want me to. I can go all night long. I just need a moment."

"I'm kidding. You've been working too hard and you've not been sleeping well. I'm tired. These little nudgers are wearing me out. I love you Edward, always."

I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "I love you more."

She smiled into me and I pulled the covers over us. I closed my eyes and sighed contently. This was a beautiful life.

My life continued to get better and better. Bella and I woke up making love and went to bed the same way. Sometimes we even made love in the middle of the day. I spent nearly a month at home which got us through Christmas and New Years. We were able to get the nursery ready at our house, my parents and Charlie's. My sibling's and the guys at the reservation even had bassinets for our babies. Everyone was excited about our upcoming births. It was truly a beautiful life.

I went back to work and thoroughly enjoyed working the day shift and treating the children that came into the hospital. I loved being able to help all of them. I took time to take care of Alice and her growing baby. She would be having her child shortly after we had ours. The family was growing by leaps and bounds. I enjoyed doing my part. We spent time with all the family from time to time. We spent days at the reservation walking on the beach and having bonfires with the Quilete's. I enjoyed fishing trips with Charlie, Billy, Jacob and my father. We drank beers and told fish tales. Bella and I spent hours in our meadow just talking or reading to each other. We walked in Port Angeles and window shopped. We went to the movies, watched them at home, played games and listened to music whether it was on the stereo or if I was playing it. It was tranquil days spent with the woman I loved. I cooked for her and she for me. We dined out and ordered in. On Sundays I did something that I usually did not do; we went to church. That single act right there made my father nearly as happy as when I told him I was going to be a doctor. He always felt that one must have a measure of faith to get through this life. I enjoyed going and so did Bella. She and I both decided that it was important to us to quickly establish a relationship with God and when our children were born they would see that they too could be close to him. The whole family, including Charlie, went to the same church. Most of the time after church, we as a entire family would go get something for lunch. Sometime would eat at a restaurant or we would go to one family member's homes where we would all work together to prepare a meal.

My time as a human was some of the best times I have ever known. I thought I enjoyed myself as a vampire since I had found Bella but this was a new experience. It was most enjoyable. I was taking complete advantage of it. I had no idea how long I would be here or if I would ever go back. I might very well be human forever. And that in no way was a bad thing. I could get used to this. I felt so free, so alive. This was heaven. This was bliss. This is all I had ever dreamed of. I had the woman of my dreams in my life and in my bed. I had two beautiful children on the way. I had four wonderful siblings who had children of their own. I had two wonderful parents who loved not only myself but Bella as well. My father-in-law had completely accepted me and actually loved me. The pack at the reservations were good friends and I enjoyed spending time with them. We got together often to play football, baseball and have cookouts. Even though they were no longer wolves, they could still put away some food. There are so many things in my life that I cherished so much. I loved my carefree life with Bella. It was the best thing ever. I hoped it never ended.

It was about two weeks to Bella's due date. Our babies were on their way soon. I had to go in to work in a few hours. Bella and I had just made love and she was now getting ready to go spend some time with Charlie since I would be at work. I hated to see her go but I loved to watch her walk away. I know it was sexist but that was how I felt. She leaned over and kissed my eagerly awaiting lips.

"I gotta go, Edward. You should be getting ready for work," she scolded.

"I am sorry, love. I am completely blissed out. You have put me in a sex coma or something. If I have a smile plastered to my face all day it is totally your fault," I chuckled.

"You know you love it."

"God help me I do," I said as I pulled her to me again and kissed her roughly as my passion ignited for her again.

Bella started to give in but then smiled against my lips. "Edward, you are trouble. Get up, take a shower and get to work. Those kids need you."

"I know, I know. Be careful today please. You are carrying my life with you always."

"I love you, Edward. I'll see you soon."

"I love you always."

She smiled and walked out of room. I sighed and got up to get ready for the day. Once I was dressed I headed into the kitchen and waited for my coffee to finish making. As I stood there and watched the cup fill I had this overwhelming sense of dread. I did not know why but it was making me anxious. My mug filled and I grabbed it and headed out the backdoor. I got in the car and headed towards the hospital. They were busy and I already had several people to check on. I was getting called right and left to come to the ER for broken bones, coughs and colds. I enjoyed having something to do but sometimes this could be crazy.

I was on the children's floor when a few things happened at once. My pager went off, my cell phone rang and I was overhead paged.

"Dr E Cullen to the ER stat!"

As I ran I pulled my phone to my ear and yelled "Hello, Dr E Cullen."

"Edward, you need to hurry," my father cried.

"Dad, what, what's wrong?"

"It's Bella. It's, it's bad. It's as bad as you can possibly imagine. Just get here. Get here now," and he hung up.

I rang faster than I had ever ran before. I ran as though my life depended on it and in all actuality it did. If something was to happen to her, my life would be over. I slid around the corner, knocked into a few patients and threw myself through the ER double doors. A nurse saw me as tears streamed down her face and pulled me to the operating room.

"Your father, Dr Cullen, has been working with the others as hard as he could but there is only so much that you can do. You know this, you know this as well as I do. I'm sorry, Dr Cullen. I am so sorry," she explained.

I nodded as there was no more than I could manage at the time. I stepped in and saw that there was blood all over the floor. On one bed lay my Bella and on the other two tiny figures. I staggered towards them. My Bella was covered up to her neck, a cut across her face, blood had seeped into the sheet that was over her and was so saturated that it dripped to the floor. She was as pale as I was once had been. Her eyes were closed, her hair was matted and she was not breathing. That I could see. I turned slightly and could see my son and daughter lying in a bed together, swaddled. They too were vampire pale and not breathing. A sob broke from my lips followed closely by a mournful cry right before I threw myself across Bella.

"NO! NO GOD NO! WHY MY BELLA? WHY MY BABIES? WHY GOD WHY? WHY?"

I cried, sobbed and screamed. My Bella was gone from this world. I did not want to live in a world where she did not exist. It was not fair that I lived and the three of them had to die. If I had been a vampire I could have turned her. I could have, I should have . . . but it was useless thought. She was gone and I was stuck here without her. Forever. I would never kiss her soft lips, make love to her, hear our children laugh, cry, talk, walk, graduate, get married and have children of their own. It was more than I could bear.

"Oh, Bella, my Bella. I am so sorry. I did this to you. This is my fault. All my fault. I love you. Forever, I love you. I am so sorry. I should have protected the three of you. This should be me. You should still be living. You are my world and you will always be my world. I am lost without you. I am nothing without you, without them. I cannot go on. I cannot," I cried.

"Son, this is not what Bella would have wanted and you know it," he said.

"What happened to them? Who did this to them?" I screamed.

"A drunk driver ran a red light and hit on the drivers side. Bella died on impact, broken neck. The babies also did not survive the crash but came out of the womb unharmed. Edward, I swear to God I do everything I could," he cried along with me.

"Dad, this is my fault. You did all you could. I did this to her. I did this to them. I might as well been the ones to hit them. I am monster."

I pulled back from Bella to go to my babies. I turned to them and picked them both up in my arms. They were so small but they were full term. My daughter had Bella's hair and heart shaped face. My son had bronze hair like me. Our two little mini mes. I pulled them closer to my chest and cried. I cried for our loss. It was a senseless death of three people all from the act of one useless human being. If they were in front of me now I would kill them with my bare hands, no vampire abilities needed. They took my life from me. My world had ended. My wife gone and so were my children. There was no reason for me to live. No reason for me to go on. Already the life had gone out of the world. The tears fell down my face and onto theirs. They would never breath, laugh, cry or do anything human. Their life ended before they could ever live. How is that even remotely fair? How could I expect to go on living?

I carefully placed both babies on Bella's chest and cried. After I fell to my knees and landed in my wife's blood and screamed mournfully.

"WHY, GOD? WHY HER? WHY THEM? THEY WERE INNOCENT IN THIS! I DID THIS TO THEM, ME AND MY STUPID FOLLY OF SAVING HER BEFORE! NOW SHE IS GONE AND SO ARE MY CHILDREN! AND FOR WHAT PURPOSE? WHO DOES THIS HELP? WHO BENEFITS WHEN THE LIFE GOES OUT OF THE WORLD? YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME! AT LEAST THEY WOULD HAVE LIVED! THEY ADD SOMETHING TO THIS PLANET! I DO NOT! TAKE ME! TAKE ME GOD! TAKE ME NOW!"

I fell face first in the blood and continued to cry. Cry for Bella, for the babies and for the world for losing such a treasure. And none of them were even aware of this loss. No one would ever know the joy of my Bella, my beautiful and innocent bride. No one . . . . .

"I think he's coming to," I heard a female voice say, but not Bella. It must have been Alice.

"Really? Oh Alice! Can you see Edward waking up?" I knew that was Bella and I willed myself to sit up and open my eyes.

When I did I was aware of every dust particle in the air, the smell of deer three miles up the road and the glorious sound of Bella's and our children's' heart beat. I did not hear mine and I knew that I was back to being a vampire. I sighed heavily. I had never been so happy to be a monster in my entire existence. I looked at Bella and she looked very tired and weak but she was breathing and that made me very happy indeed. She was alive and that was all that mattered to me. I reached up and caressed her cheek.

"You are here," I said.

"And so are you. You scared me, Edward. You scared us all," Bella replied.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to worry you all. But I have never been more happy to see you in my whole long life."

"But you just saw me a few hours ago."

"Hours? Are you sure? I feel like I have not seen you in months."

"Bella is right, son. You've been out for a three hours," Carlisle explained.

"What happened to you," Bella asked.

"I had a George Bailey experience."

"A what?" Emmett asked.

"Earlier when Bella and I had a disagreement about the babies, I asked God to help me in anyway he could. I guess he thought that I needed to learn a lesson. So he turned me human and I spent several months with Bella as a human, worked as a pediatrician at the hospital with Carlisle and thoroughly enjoyed my time with Bella and you all as we were all human. Em, you and Rose had three children and Alice, you and Jazz were expecting your first. Jacob, we were friends with the Quileutes and we all went to church with Charlie, where after we had a huge family dinner. I spent months being a human and two weeks before Bella was to deliver our son and daughter a drunk driver plowed into her car and killed all three of them. I cried out to God again and that brings us here. I realize that this is where I am meant to be. I am meant to be here with you Bella and to be by your side to help you raise these children and to love you for all eternity."

"That is one hell of a dream there, Eddie. What you think, Carlisle? Can a vampire go crazy?" Emmett asked.

Rosalie hit him in the back of the head. "Ow, woman! What was that for?"

"Em, you know he hates to be called 'Eddie' yet you keep doing it. Stop it, right now!" Rosalie said with a scowl.

Emmett bowed his head in defeat. "Yes dear."

"Why don't we give Edward and Bella some time alone to talk," Alice advised.

They all nodded and walked out of the room. Carlisle looked at me and said "We'll do some testing later to figure out what happened if you like."

"Of course. Whatever you would like, Carlisle."

Once everyone left the room I pulled Bella on the bed with me and put my arms around her. I placed my nose in her hair and breathed in her glorious aroma. I had missed that smell while I was human, if that really happened. Nothing could compare to the way she smelled and felt in my arms. I knew that now I need to be careful with her since she was more breakable. But that was fine with me. As long as she was living I did not care that I needed to treat her like the finest porcelain. I was just happy that she was here.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you are here and breathing and safe and that you are still pregnant with our children. I am so happy Balle, you just do not even know," I said.

"I think I know. I was so afraid while you were in your trance. We had no idea what was wrong with you. You kept screaming for God not to do this to you. That this was unfair to me and the babies. As a matter of fact, you keep saying babies. Is there something that you know that I don't?"

I sat up and pulled up Bella's shirt. She had bruising where the child had kicked her. I placed my hands on her swollen abdomen. When I did I could get images and hear voices. They were not monsters. They were miracles.

"Oh my goodness. I have been a fool, a complete fool," I said.

"What? What is it Edward?"

"Just a moment love." I placed my lips on her middle and spoke.

"Hello my babies. How many of you are there in there?"

" _Hi, Daddy. Two. My sister and I,"_ a small male voice replied.

"How come I have not heard you before?"

" _You've never touched us. We love to hear Mommy. She is so happy to have us."_

I knew that I had not and had been very much against it but not anymore.

"I am sorry, my son. I will no longer be this way. I will be an active father. I will care for you and your sister. I love you, my boy, and your sister too."

" _We love you too, Daddy. We love Mommy too."_

"They love you too, Bella."

"You can hear them now? And there are two of them?"

"Yes, my love. We have a son and daughter."

"Oh my goodness! Two babies? Wow! I just can't believe it! What else did they say?"

"Let me ask them. Is it getting crowded in there? I was also wondering if maybe you could be more careful with mommy as you are bruising her."

" _Daddy, we don't mean to hurt Mommy but it is getting crowded in here. Also the stuff that Mommy is eating is not good to us. We need something else,"_ a tiny girl's voice replied.

"Hello, my baby. I am sorry that it is getting crowded and I think I may know what you need to eat. I will ask your grandfather about how to acquire what you and your brother need."

" _Thank you, Daddy. We're sleepy. Can we talk tomorrow?"_ my son asked.

"Of course we can. You and your sister need your rest. We love you. We love you very much. Rest well, my babies." I said as I kissed her Bella.

" _We love you too,"_ my babies said in unison.

"Edward, what do you think I can do to satisfy the babies?" Bella asked.

"I think they want blood love. Maybe if you drink the blood you might be able to have something else as well," I replied.

"I would try anything. And I would hate to admit this is that this idea appeals to me."

"Really? Carlisle will be in with your blood in a few seconds."

"This is one of those times that I'm glad that you all are vampires."

I chuckled and heard a knock at the door.

"Come in, Carlisle."

He came in carrying a styrofoam cup with a lid on it and a straw. Bella's mouth began to water as she reached for the cup with both hands. She looked up at me nervously. I nodded to her in encouragement.

"It is okay, love. They want this and it will help you in the long run," I explained.

"Are you sure you won't be disgusted by me?"

"Nothing could be further from the truth. You are being a responsible mother and I could not be more proud."

"Edward is right, Bella. You're being extremely responsible. I'm very proud of you." Carlisle added.

"Ok," Bella said as she brought the straw to her lips and began to pull the blood up through the straw and let it pass her lips. I sighed heavily. You could almost see some of her color coming back. I smiled. My children were brilliant.

" _Did I hear you say you could hear the babies and that you have a son and daughter?"_ Carlisle asked only me.

I nodded to let him know that I had heard him and smiled. Bella looked up from her cup and cocked an eyebrow at me. She must have known I was talking with Carlisle.

"You know I hate when you do that," Bella said.

"Sorry, love. Carlisle was asking about the kids and I was telling him that I did say we were having a boy and a girl and that I can now hear them," I explained.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I forget sometimes how observant you are. You are an amazing human. No wonder Edward picked you. Would you like some more or would you like to see if it stays down?" Carlisle asked.

"Can we give it a little bit? I'm feeling a bit sloshy."

"Of course. Whatever you'd like. I think I'll give you some privacy and go tell the others the good news. Congratulations to you both," Carlisle said as he clapped me on the back and kissed Bella on the cheek and took the cup back out of the room. He locked the door as he left us alone. Alone with my love at last.

"Alone at last," I said.

"Finally," she replied as I scooted in closer to her.

I pulled her into my arms and placed her on my lap. She straddled my hips as best she could with her protruding middle. I looked at her and she leaned her forehead to mine and I inhaled her glorious aroma.

"Bella, I have something I need to say to you."

"What is it, Edward?"

"I have been a fool. I have left you to do this all by yourself. I have not been a good husband and I have certainly not been a good father. I have failed you. But I can promise you no more. I will be with you every single step of the way. You and these babies are my whole world and I will never fail you again. I will spend the rest of eternity making this up to you. I vow this to you now. I love you with all my heart, mind, body and soul," I declared.

"Oh Edward. I love you too. Forever and always," Bella said as she pulled her lips to mine.

That was when I knew that we would truly have our forever and our love would only grow and grow. I would not trade my time now with Bella for anything in all the world. She would give birth to our children and then we would change her and we would have our forever. Forever in love for all eternity.


End file.
